If you caused another person harm while you were addicted, there is a good chance that the issue will catch up with you in the future. There’s also a good chance it could become a trigger for relapse. Raven Rodriguez is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker passionate about helping individuals cope with life’s transitions. She is experienced in aiding those who have used unhealthy numbing mechanisms such as drugs, alcohol, sex, food, and self-harm.
Navigating the Process of Making Amends in Recovery
Instead, making amends means you apologize for what you’ve done and make it right. Similarly, making living amends means you completely change the way you live and remain committed to that lifestyle. Whenever possible, a direct amend is made face-to-face rather than over the phone or by asking someone else to apologize on your behalf. Making living amends primarily benefits you and not the people you’ve wronged in the past. It’s about making positive changes within yourself so that you don’t repeat old patterns of behavior that led to your broken relationships in the first place.
Ways Sneaky Behavior Controls You
Our team works closely with you throughout this process to help you achieve your goals in recovery. To discern whether to make amends, ask yourself why you’re wanting to contact the person. For example, if you had an affair for three years during active addiction, visiting your ex to fess up and say you’re sorry isn’t going to help them; it’s going to hurt them.
- Talk with your sponsor or others in your recovery community about what has worked for them.
- We can’t know for certain how another person will respond—or even how the interaction might affect us emotionally.
- Another instance where making direct amends may not be a good idea is if admitting your wrongs could jeopardize your freedom, which could hurt your loved ones.
- It is different from an apology, which is “a regretful acknowledgment of an offense or failure”.
- These steps mean taking ownership of the past, apologizing for wherever you made mistakes and moving forward from those missteps.
Addiction Treatment Programs
At Buckhead Behavioral Health in Atlanta, we are here to help you take those first steps with our custom-tailored treatment programs that teach you how to make amends and live a sober lifestyle. Many people think of making amends as simply apologizing for whatever wrongs they did in their using, however an apology is not an amend. An amend involves rectifying or making right what was wrong.
Careers – Join Our Team
- The last step is looking at how you can move out of that pattern.
- If you’re on the fence about Step 9, remember that making amends can help you and the other person.
- It means mending, or (quite literally) fixing, the relationship.
- Beaches Recovery is a 90-bed addiction treatment center located on the beautiful beaches of Jacksonville, Florida.
- Again, in recovery, your words may not mean as much to some people as you wish they would.
- It’s important to note that making amends is for the person we hurt.
Many who lived with addiction have past behaviors they’re not proud of. By proactively correcting previous mistakes, those in recovery may be able to prevent future conflicts that could trigger a relapse. For many who lived in addiction, apologizing was a regular habit. living amends Whether it was apologizing for being late for work, missing an event, misusing property or stealing money to support an addiction, expressing remorse was likely a daily occurrence. The guilt may have been real, but the apology didn’t come with lasting change.
Making amends does not undoing the wrongdoing, just as forgiveness doesn’t undo the wrongdoing. Instead, it is an action we take to compensate for what we have done. Ninety percent of the time, I keep my mouth shut, but I am my son’s mother.
In a Psychology Today article, Winch also explained that guilt and shame play a large part in the struggle to apologize. Prior to founding Buckhead Behavioral Health, Carter worked in insurance brokerage in New York City and as a real estate private equity acquisitions specialist in Atlanta. He completed his undergraduate degree at Washington & Lee University and has an MBA from the UNC Keenan-Flagler Business School. He enjoys golf and living a healthy lifestyle through his continued journey of recovery. Stacy L. Cline, MSN, APRN, FNP-C is a board-certified Nurse Practitioner who provides individualized care and medication management to patients suffering from various mental health conditions.
For The Family
